People always commend me for being able to spend hours a week caring for 2 year olds. I'm not too sure why, because I'd much rather blow bubbles and build towers with my daycare kids than do whatever non-daycare-working adults do with their free time (no offense).
Okay, of course it's not fun changing pull ups and wiping snotty noses and being thrown up on every once in a while. But let me tell you, these little humans are really on to something.
In the past year that I've spent working with young toddlers, I've learned so much about the real world that boring childless adults could never come to know without spending their free time reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? or listening to a 35 minute loop of Baby Shark.
#1. Patience is a learned skill.
I always thought of myself as a patient person. I never rushed others, I didn't get road rage when I was sitting in traffic, and I wasn't the type of person to feel entitled to whatever I wanted right that second.
At least that's what I thought.
There's something about sitting in the bathroom waiting for a 3 year old to finish pooping after sitting next to the stall for 15 minutes that just drives you up a wall. (TMI? Sorry, not sorry) These kids think they have all the time in the world to do whatever they want!
Oh wait...
That's because they kind of do.
Little kids don't have to worry about project deadlines or going to the bank before class or doing laundry twice a week because they don't have enough pairs of running shorts to get them through a 6 days of soccer practice.
Sorry I'm rambling. I'll get to the point.
Kids should show adults that although it seems like the world is moving at a rapid pace at all times, it's actually us "older people" that are making the days feel shorter and our lives fly by.
SLOW DOWN! Take a breath. Journal. Go for a walk during your break. Go take a poop for 15 minutes like my 3 year olds, I don't know. Just do something to slow you down at least once a day and make you feel present. It takes practice, but once you are living a more patient life, you'll have all the time in the world to solve your grown-up problems.
#2. Don't downplay someone based off of first impressions.
Before I worked at a daycare, I never had a clear concept as to what age a child could do something.
For example, I didn't know a 1 year old could actually understand you when you spoke to them. The first time I saw my coworker tell a 1 y/o to go sit down for lunch, AND HE ACTUALLY DID IT?! I was shocked.
It was moments like this that showed me to never be surprised if someone exceeded my expectations. If anything, I try not to have expectations of people. This is because you can never actually tell from an individual's personality or age or appearance what he/she is capable of.
Don't assume ANYTHING about another person. Assumptions only lead to anxiety of the future and have the potential to ruin future relationships.
Allow people you work with/for to demonstrate their abilities as the time comes, and don't expect them to do any type of way. This way, there are no let downs!
#3. People don't just get emotional for no reason.
I find that a kid never throws a tantrum because they wanted to or for no reason at all. If a kid is in a bad mood, there is almost always a backstory.
Scenario:
You quick turn your head and see a kid hit another kid in the head with a toy truck.
What you didn't see:
The kid had left their favorite toy at home because they were woken up late and their parents were in a rush to get them to daycare, so they were cranky and upset from the start. He misses his daddy because he's been on a business trip for 3 days and he spends the majority of his time at daycare, away from his parents. While he was trying to play with a toy truck during free play, another kid reaches for the truck. He gets upset and his first instinct is to hit him with the toy.
Now. Do you think yelling and screaming and time out is the best way to handle this? Maybe you do.
But I think if you sit the child down and have a quick chat asking why he thought that was a good decision and if they are tired or why they are upset in the first place or what you could do to help the situation--
maybe you can get to the root of the issue.
I swear, 90% of the time the kid just needs a hug in order to cool down.
In my actual adult life, I use this insight to make sure I don't take what others tell me personally. If my boss yells at me, I don't react because maybe they just had a bad day. Or if a customer is being rude, maybe they just got some bad news.
People aren't just angry because they want to be angry. Emotions are products of the situation a person is in and how they choose to react to it. Take everything that's said to you out of emotion with a grain of salt.
You can also flip this, and use this information to be more self aware. If you find yourself acting based off your emotions, check yourself and think about WHY you feel this way and what can be done to resolve it.
#4. Speak with a purpose.
"Why" is a child's favorite phrase in the world. I mean, it makes sense. Kids are just learning the world around them, and who do they look to for information? Adults! Of course they're gonna sit there and ask us, "why why why" even if they aren't actually understanding what we're saying.
After constantly being asked questions after any sentence I spoke to these kids, I decided that I need to use my words to educate, rather than fill space.
If a kid asks me a question, I try to answer as specifically as I can. This is not only so the kids feel like they are actually learning new things instead of me just saying "because I said so", but because if I answer a question to the best of my knowledge, then I can always continue to back it up with accurate information for when the kid shoots me another "why" question.
I try to take this into my "adulting" life by only asking questions that I truly want the answer to and answering questions to the best of my ability, no matter who I am talking to.
#5. Stop taking life so seriously.
I don't have much to say in this section, because there's not much to explain.
Become childlike.
Run around.
Dance.
Have fun!
There's not really much here, other than to remind you that you were a kid once in your life too! So act like it, and enjoy yourself.
I have learned the same thing this summer, working with 8th graders. it has taught me that just like some children need to tell them right from wrong adults need to here it too regardless of if they are older than I am. So slightly different.
I love this post, and how you confidently "go there" and draw the parallels. Your voice is shining through, and I can tell both the kids and adults in your life are lucky to know you.